ADVICE ON BECOMING AN AUTHOR and writing well is not hard to find.

Let's see what Google has to say ..

https://www.google.com/search?q=writing+advice&oq=writing+advice

Dunno about you, but I made it to page 4 before I fell asleep.

Hmm, what about Amazon?

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_2_14?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=writing+advice&sprefix=writing+advice%2Caps%2C709&crid=3HW503NLY54U0

Well, I read about two of those, so ... only 13,243 to go!

As is true in much of life, opinions are like assholes.

Enter my 'Five Commandments for New Writers', in my best rendition of Lord British Speak.


1. THOU SHALT writeth daily. Thou shalt not skip days unless thou art on thine death-bed. And yet such excuses shall be met with the utmost derision. In similar fashion, thou shalt writeth actual words for no less than two hours per day.

TRANSLATION: Write every Gorram day. 2 hours minimum. And this does not include emails, text messages, or (goodness!) even blog posts.

2. THOU SHALT writeth thine draft with due speed. Thou shalt not pause to consider the proper use of prepositions, or to reorder paragraphs, or even to ponder the shirt-color of thine protagonist. Only when thine draft is done, shall there be time allotted for inner naval-gazing.

TRANSLATION: Just fracking get it done. Write that sucker, mainly because it's not going to write itself.

3. THOU SHALT peruse books of all kinds, at every opportunity. Never shall thee stray far from thine library, nor shall thee attend any gathering without a book of prose.

TRANSLATION: Read it all. This is your source material and sustenance for your muse. In particular, read authors or genres that are nothing like yours. Take a book (or a Kindle) with you every where you go.

4. THOU SHALT ritualize thine life. Routine and ritual shall guide you, and set thee on the path to thine true self.

TRANSLATION: Develop habits to set yourself up for success. This could include writing at the same time or place, or using your calendar to schedule time for your important tasks (i.e. writing). Some habits also beget more habits, such as exercise, meditation, journaling, and positive emotional relationships.

5. THOU SHALT treat thine body as divine. When thou art tired, thou shall rest; when thou art hungry, thou shall eat; when thine body is weakened, thou shalt work to toughen it; when thine mind is weakened, thou shalt seek the comfort of others.

TRANSLATION: Take care of yourself from the inside out -- both your body and your mind. Eat well, exercise, sleep well, spend time with those that you love. Above all, do not neglect the fundamental things that make us human, for these things feed the soul of the writer.